She says as she sips her hot chocolate…
Growing up means cooking dinner, buying groceries, having to know what tyres your car has and whether or not you have a spare one, keeping yourself together in general – these are only a little sliver of what makes up adulthood, and man, entering this stage of life is weird! Recently I’ve been having a bit (read: a lot) of empty nest syndrome. Yes, you read that right. A whole lot of empty nest syndrome! Not in its regular sense of children leaving home. Rather, my parents and brother left home to pursue various adventures. And me? I’m finding my merry own way, trying to navigate life as an “adult” but still feeling very much like a big child. People deal with their experiences in different ways, and I’m dealing with mine in the way I know best: writing about it on here. It’s been a challenging time, and soon I’ll be moving into my own apartment (whaaaaat!?), so I thought it would be fun to document everything on the blog. But even though I’m having to do this whole adult thing, there are many things in my life that feel far from grown up…
I don’t even have a full-time job!
What screams adult more than earning a salary and paying bill after bill? I may be living by myself, but I am still studying and I do my various jobs of makeup and blogging that bring in some money. But nothing close to a fully fledged career yet. I’m very blessed that my family still supports me, but very often I can’t help but dwell on the fact that I’m cheating at adulting! I have the responsibility of buying my own groceries and keeping an apartment running, and yet I don’t have a steady income to support myself. I know I need to cut myself some slack (besides, THEY left the nest, NOT me 😂😂) though I definitely can’t wait for the day where I no longer need to rely on anyone but myself.
My anxiety has had a tough time adjusting and sometimes I want to curl into a ball and cry like a baby.
It’s no secret that I’ve dealt with anxiety my whole life, so obviously with a huge change like this my anxiety loves to make an appearance more often, just to make sure I’m kept on my toes you know? Growing up may be weird, but feeling what you feel definitely isn’t. I think when we were young we all had that idea that once you become an adult you automatically have everything together, and you never cry. If only! I think as we get older we just find ways to deal with things better, though sometimes I even question myself on that! At times I really do wish I could curl into a ball like a baby and hide away for bit! But with living alone you have to find ways to calm yourself and centre yourself when no one else is around to do it for you. Sitting in the sunshine with my dogs has been a huge lifesaver for me, and having dogs in itself is amazing for companionship. (Biscotti’s energy is heartwarming) In the evenings, Friends is what always calms me down if my anxiety is particularly bad. I frequently find myself being so grateful for those six whacky characters!
I’ve learnt to use the kitchen! (kind of)
Oh my, if you know me well you know that the kitchen is not my best friend. I could do the simple boiled egg, pasta and you know, toast. But this whole grown up business means that if you’re hungry, you have to get off your bum and cook your own food. There’s only so much money you can justify spending on Uber Eats! Because of this I have been branching out to making my own vegetable dishes (nothing fancy, just butternut with cinnamon, and broccoli and cauliflower with cheese sauce but to me, this is a victory!), pasta salads, vegan schnitzels and roast vegetables, fish and chips – that kind of thing. I might not absolutely love cooking, but I’m definitely learning my way around the kitchen to be able to make different dishes so that I don’t have to eat the same two minute noodles every night. One thing I’ve struggled with particularly is knowing what spices/sauces to stock up on as kitchen essentials. This is not something I’ve ever paid attention to! So if you have your favourites, let me know.
This whole business of growing up and having to take full responsibility is a huge transition, especially if you’ve lived in your family home even after school. I’m 23 now and have officially left the nest (or had no other choice, actually) but it’s an exciting journey too. I make all these jokes about being left in the nest while the rest of my family have spread their wings, but actually, this has made me spread my wings too. And don’t get me wrong, my family wanted me to join them, so I can’t put all the blame on them – I kind of brought this adulthood upon myself! 😉 Nevertheless, I can’t complain; my family still does so much for me even from different cites. So in some ways, I am indeed still a child (kind of). One more month and I’ll officially be moving into my own little place. I will keep you updated with how all the grown up-ping goes!
Let me know your own experiences with adulting – and feel free to share your tips too!