If you had told me at eight years old that someday I would be living in my own little apartment, with my own fur babies, feeling brave enough to not have to call my mom or dad every hour to check if they were coming home, I wouldn't have believed you in the slightest. I put up an Instagram post that briefly touched on this and I wanted to go a bit deeper than a caption, hence my blogpost dedicated to the subject. Moving really takes a toll on you. Granted I only moved to a different suburb, not a different country or anything like that, but I think the whole process, regardless of location, still warrants the feelings of overwhelm and stress. Not to mention the task of having to decide what to take and what to toss! It's difficult when you're sentimental and want to keep each and every letter, birthday card, small memory, movie ticket - you get the picture. Somehow I got through those obstacles and am slowly setting into this little nook, by myself. And in a non-arrogant way at all, I am proud of myself.
Pride doesn't need to be considered a bad thing - everyone is allowed to feel it. Everyone SHOULD feel it at some point! Accomplishing things you never thought you would, or even just getting through a horrible day; all challenges, big or small, should be acknowledged with a bit of pride and self-appreciation. And that is exactly what I wanted to share in this post. Why it's okay to be proud of yourself...
Life is hectic, every small victory should be celebrated
Some days can be a lot to take, where it feels like the whole world is against you - we all get those now and then - and on those days, even if the best thing you do is ticking off a couple items on your to do list, that's more than okay. I use this example because it's small, and yet it may still take a lot of will power to accomplish on days like that. Even then, be proud of yourself for trying. Easier said than done, I know... When I was in primary school, up to about grade five, my anxiety was at its highest. I would panic like crazy if I couldn't get hold of anyone, or if I was at home with someone but they were in another room - it was that bad. It was such a drastic form of separation anxiety that really took me down with everything it had. I remember the first night I slept in my own room without shouting goodnight to my mom multiple times, just to make sure she was still there. I remember that night so clearly, and from then on I never had a problem sleeping in my own room again. I don't know what changed, but it was such a proud moment for me, so much so that I've never forgotten it. A small victory indeed, but little did I know, that night was preparing me for all the nights I'd spend on my own one day.
If it's important to you, it's not any less valid than someone else's struggles or victories
As I'm writing this I'm even getting a bit nervous as to how it will be received. I mean, not everyone can relate to feelings such as this, or maybe not to this extent. But I remind myself that maybe there is one person who actually needs to hear something like this, even if that person is me. It may seem like such a simple thing to a lot of people; I mean, how hard can it be to live on your own? But trust me when I say, this whole journey has taught me a lot about myself and how to rely on myself. And it feels amazing! I've learnt the most important lesson through this, and it's that I can stand on my own two feet without anyone having to help me balance. And that to me is a huge accomplishment.
In a world often filled with negativity, you must create your own positive bubble
This has not been easy this year. After my family moved away and I started living on my own, I felt extremely down and so unenthusiastic about everything. But with the help of my boyfriend, my friends, and of course, my family, I learnt that I should embrace the situation and make the most of it while I'm here. Now I'm realising the blessing and real adventure it is to experience living by myself, before the time comes when I'll move in with my boyfriend, and all the real grown up responsibilities hit. It has also made the world of difference moving into an apartment that feels really central - I can't even explain how much that has lifted my mood. This is a time in my life where I can revel in my own space, enjoy my own decorating (because we all know pink couches and fluffy white cushions won't fly in a boy's space!) and find peace in who I am. And I won't pretend I don't get a bit nervous about safety and all that, because let's face it, the world can be an ugly place to live in at times. But overall, I'm positive and I'm choosing to feel secure, instead of dwelling on bad thoughts. Plus, I've got my vicious guard dog, so I'm good!
I've still got some decorating to do and random things to buy, but for the time being this little space is perfect to call home. Whether or not anyone understands where you're coming from or makes you feel like you shouldn't cheer yourself on, don't focus your energy on them. It's okay to be proud of yourself when you've overcome big or small difficulties, goals, dreams, you name it. And if you need extra cheering on, let me know!
What have you done recently that has made you proud of yourself?